hello. i'm here to delay my mugging session again. after 11.30am, marks the end of my sem exams. wahahaha. but i'm bound to be back in sch during hols to take sub paper. hmmmm

went back to bartley today. wahahaha. i missed julius& sofia. it's been sooooooo long. they're still so fun to be with after so long. heh. sofie, the pictures i uploaded is for you. (: heh.

shall post up some pics. during my boy's party. after the party we went for sheesha. it was ok. as in, not awesome or wadsoever. by the time we cut the cake, 1/2 of the guests were gone alr. hmmm. ok. i'm a bad party planner. enjoy the pics.

group
again. (BLUR! my stupid cam.)
wahahahaha. he's up for something bad.

he did the exact same thing to jojin during his party last yr. karma. haha.

(the guy on his left)

STACKO!
happy 18th birthday!
us.

me& darling
mwacks! >.<

(what's with that face? ._.)

ahhhhhhh. heh.

on a side note, i realised i didn't take photo with baby that night. anyways, i'm going out with darling& baby tmr. wahahaha. i'm so cam-whoring. shall post up any pics available.

PLS CLICK ON THE NUFFNAG AD. MWACKS!

PLS CLICK ON THE NUFFNAG AD. MWACKS!

i can't stop blog hopping. crap. i need to study, but i'm still procrastinating. i don't want to take any sub-papers. AHHHHHHHHHH. i wish i had the remote that adam sandler had in the movie click. i want to fast forward my life from now until friday 11.30. hmmmm. hoping during that period of time i deligently studied. hai. if only if.

if only if. i can do a lot of things now. my body clock is screwed up. i deserve it anyways. i "deviated" too much last month. i don't even why.

anyways, i'm going back to bartley tmr with sophie& julie. heh. after gazillion million years, i finally get to meet them. too bad owner of may& choi (marie) won't be joining due to freaking exams. then after that i think i'd be pigging back home then wake up for dinner then pig again then come back to blog before studying for my FINAL paper. wahh. luckily i'm still ok with the final paper, as in i do understand stuff.

i wonder how people cope with mixed feelings. why do mixed feelings ever exist. an example here. somehow i'm hoping for morning to arrive, but i also hope that time kind of stop here for me to study until i finish, take nap then wake up before the time starts ticking again. this is crap. seriously.

i think from this post onwards i shall increase my font size. i keep on telling myself it's reader friendly, but then, i find it irritatingly small at times.

alrights, i've wasted enough time, i shall be studying. TC peeps. all the best for AIMM tmr. hoprfully after this module, there's no more alvin poh in my life. heh. (:

hello! ok. i'm totally screwed. i'm awaiting the arrival of friday. hmmm.

chanel lam lai fong.you're being missed.

speaking of wanting to know her. suddenly, we're "friends". hmmmm. my mouth has been quite accurate recently. ok. off to my boy's place. all the best for me till friday. (:

warning: i can be a stalker. actually, no, i already am. bad.

hi peeps. Mgen was crap. i hope i don't need to take sub paper.

hmmm. suddenly i feel like saying. I LOVE MY BOY! just something out of a sudden i feel like saying. heh.

hong kong. i'm coming for you soon. wish me luck for fpath tmr.

OMG. my sem exams starting in 45 mins. yet i'm here updating blog. hmmm. i've yet to finish studying. heck. i seriously want to quit school. but somehow last minute studying kinda works for me. ok. crap. anws. i think baby& darling will be laughing at my head band when i meet them later. i officially miss them. sorry for flying plane last week. i'll make it up during hols.

speaking of hols, i've yet to earn the money i need for hk trip. how? i wish i could rob the bank. maybe afterall, i still need to borrow from mum. hai. any job intro?

should i sympathize her? somehow i wish that she's gone from the earth. i would feel lesser threat then. but then, it's only me feeling it. the problem is between myself& him. i shouldn't blame her. but yet again, ahhhhh. hard to explain. i want to know her.

just thinking of stuff, i'm not emo-ing ok. when hols come, my emo side will be gone. wahahaahhahah.

ok. good luck for my exams.

p.s: CHAM LI PING (ZELDA if ppl still call you that. CALL ME! idiot. sleep until don't know how to call me back. better meet me for dinner or so after this week!)

hello. ok. i shan't post so much emo stuff here. anws. i should stop thinking so much. i should. people don't bear the grudge as much as me. i believe jin won't, for wadever i've done.

hmmm. i haven't been studying. so, i think next week's dedicated to studying.i think should be changed to i must. hai. i can pester dear to study, so.. i can also pester myself to study. STOP PROCRASTINATING! exams will be over in 2 weeks time. then, i'm off to hong kong. wahahaha.

alright. off to bed. :D

warning!!!!!! another emo post ahead.

i'm going crazy! i'm pacing around.... waiting. i wonder other than me not being around when it rains and you just woke up, would you be lost, not knowing what to do? i think not. hmmmmm. i think you'll just ring someone else and find your own entertainment without me. without me. if only if i could tell you whatever i feel whenever i feel like. somehow i can't bring myself to do it. someone give me the courage to do it. i'm getting drained more and more as days pass. somehow i dedicated my time to you so much unknowingly, i have no idea what to do now since the party is over. i want to do something for myself, but i don't know what. somehow things that i want to do will kind of include you. i can't bring myself to study.

things i want to do

1. prawning
2. mahjong
3. COD
4. go redang (you told me you'll bring me there someday. i'm still waiting.)
5. study

other than study,all involves you. i hate myself for doing this. including you in so much things till the extent i have no idea what to do when i'm alone except to study which i obviously hate and won't do. so i just end up stoning the whole day and wasting days away. if we ever give up on each other, i would spend my days being a tap and stoning. i hate it. it always happens.

i'm still emo-ing. i hate this period of time. crapppppppppp.

anws, i've finally cut my nails after procrastinating for damn long. and end up some nail got stuck under the comma key i can't get out. i hope it doesnt rot in there or sis will kill me. feels nice with my nails so short.

oh yah, recently i feel like going back to swim after watching the olympics. hmmmmm. it's only something temporary. when olympics is over, this wish will fade off too. but i think it was stupid of me to give it up. oh well, i may go back some day. MAY i emphasize. its sad that ian thorpe retired. my idol. hmmmm. micheal phelps is doing well too, my idol-to-be, if he wins the 8 gold medals he claims. heh.

alright, i shall continue stoning. TC peeps, don't emo around like me. it's bad for health.

before i go, passer, whoever you are, thanks many. it won't kill me, but i won't be strong for the moment. i've yet to find the courage to be strong.

hello. party's over. nth much happened. i think it wasnt't good enough, or not good at all. i don't think he enjoyed it. hmmmmmm. i really don't know. i didn't get to see his 100%s. kinda disappointed indeed.

anws, first time trying sheshaa. hmmmm. not as awesome as i expected, but i think i'll go down to chill again some day. heh.

it's good to have so much friends around you. but i wonder if this is temporary. friends come and go like how we all did. we somehow just left each others' life. or did i leave? remembering when i was young, or maybe everybody, i always told myself that friendship do last. but i never tot how long it would last. it could last for 1 min, few months, but is there a forever to friendship? i think it all boils down to how we go about being friends.

i feel like going off track. i feel like. i need you to hold on to me, hold me tight. i want to feel secure for once. i want to feel appreciated. i want to feel pampered, very pampered like never before. i don't want to be your sand bag, something to vent your anger on. i don't want to be someone just there to satisfy your selfish needs. i'm someone selfish too, can't you see it? sometimes, i'd really appreciate you putting me before anything. i feel stupid to be putting up with everything. hold on to me. please. i think i've never been so drained before. emotionally drained. hold on to me. one last try, then i'll leave. i'd really leave this time.

sometimes, i wonder why i'm jealous of your happiness? i guess it's simply because i don't feel much of it now.

am i making this moment or this moment making me?i just wish for someone who can answer all of my doubts right now.

emo-ing for now. sorry guys. there's a reason for blogs being online diary. some place for rants. pictures up next time. TC peeps.
i wonder if you see any of this.

i still love you. pls don't make it fade away.

i'm living on my own island.

Albert Camus once wrote, "Blessed are the hearts that can bend. They shall never be broken." But I wonder.... If there's no breaking, then there's no healing. And if there's no healing, then there is no learning. And if there's no learning, then there's no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life, So must all hearts be broken ?
-lucas scott

is it true? must all hearts be broken to have the struggle we need to encounter in life? sometimes why must life be so hard, who came up with the word struggle?

random stuff i feel like posting. 45 more mins to dear's 18th. hmmmmm. i'm worried for many things uncalled for. i hate it. i hate myself to think so much. what comes along, i'll just handle it.

1. ok. i hate perfectionist. suddenly i feel so uncertain, unsafe, insecured. no one is suppose to be threatening anything right now. if i ever find out that anyone is stepping in, i'm seriously killing your soul. i hate you.
2. somehow as days pass, guilt turned into hatred. it's ridiculous for such a treatment. you're ridiculous. & i'm stupid for feeling the guilt initially. i foolishly got depressed because of your ridiculous behaviour. i hate you.

i'm talking about 2 diff things here btw. my life sudddddeeeennnnnlllllyyyy is filled with hatred. karma will befall on me soon. but i can't help it but to feel hatred. i remembered my conductor telling me that it's pointless bearing so much hatred in me, in the end, i'm the only one feeling it and suffering from the hatred.

hello. i've been busy with COD. heh. unless you can figure it out, it's something for me to know and for you to find out. crap.

dear's 18th is in 2 days time. ahhhhhhhh. i'm getting excited/worried lurrrrr for a few reasons.

1. he has yet to see the exact place yet. i hope he likes it.
2. many many of his friends are coming (i think), i hope things dun cock up.
3. i hope he can be very very happy on that day
4. a day i can dress up :D
5. i can finally see the past owners of the 100% of his love.

hmmmm. yeh. that's it i think. this weekend i think will be my last week fooling around so much. exams in 3 weeks. CRAP. though i should be happy that hols are coming, i'm still worrying like nobody's business. i need money. i think i've yet to mention that i'm going hong kong with dear& his parents during the hols. i need money!

ok. i'm done. update soon.take care peeps.

i'm only worth 75%.

introducing my dearest.

i think i've yet to put much peektures of me& him.

heh.

sentosa trip. like FINALLY after last dec.

movie with NCOs. when wei jie finally came back.

me& zu.
me& my dearest monkey/ pig cross-breed. heh.
me& my DARLING!
me& BABY!

that's how we've been spending time for the past few labs. wahaha.
1st picture with my new G500.
k session with ahhh hoon& BC before sch starts.

my loveable nieces. preeetttyyyy right?!
esp with me in the pic. wahah.that's their "cheeeeese".
guess who's older?

the first dog i've ever fostered.

OMG.

if mum allows, i would have kept him.

he's like freaking quiet& well behaved.

oh well,

it's gone to a good home.

i'm happy for him.

i've finally uploaded pictures successfully, after many tries.
all pictures are in chronological order.
i shall be off to bed.
oh yah.
i'm freaking sick.
irritating!
nites!

p.s: i love my dear, darling& baby. :D (of no respective order)