Anticipate.

If only I'll learn never to anticipate, I won't get so much disappointment in life. But then again, it's the anticipation that keeps me going and prepared for the worst.


I hate the need to avoid lucifer because I know the right light will never blink when I need it to. Sorry lucifer for neglecting you. It's just a phase then soon you'll be my dearest again.


Timber tmr will take load of my mind.

Involvement.

Just because I'm young, it doesn't mean I don't understand what love is.
Just because I'm young, it doesn't mean I don't understand how important a whole perfect family is. 
Just because I choose to stand by you, it doesn't mean you can waste my concern on you.


If you choose to tell me, then expect me to be concerned about you. So don't shut me out from your life and come to me only when you feel lonely. If you've already known my concern for you would be useless and ignored, don't fucking tell me all these stuff in the first place. Stop wasting my concern and headaches for you. It hurts me to see you in this state. 

Reality.

You can't imagine how much I miss diving, how much I miss the sun, sand and sea, how much I miss sitting down in the hut by the sea, enjoying the sea breeze and ponder about life.


But I can't be doing all these forever. I guess all these are my motivation to work harder, earn the money and time for all these activities. Meanwhile, I'll have to press on!


P.S: I know I'm better off without you, consider me begging you to leave me alone.