hihi.

i'm in pain.

i'm burnt. i think it's almost 1st degree burn. but i think i'm experienced in getting burnt so i dun really bother to think bout the pain that much.

anyways. i'm figuring out how to load pics onto facebook. i feel like deleting my facebook account.

i'm contemplating whether to seriously go for osip. so many things holding me back. no. actually, there's only my sis's wedding. someone has to be here to help her prepare since fiona won't be in sg then. hai. africa. i want. seriously. i've been thinking of it since yr 1. i want to go africa. but i feel that if i really wan it, i'll work things out. i will. that's what kept me going. i will go there for sip or not.

it's time for closure. it's long enough.

i tot i would take a very long time to heal. but apparently, i managed to do it earlier then expected. i admit i still think of the past. but it doesn't hurt thinking of it anymore. i think up till now, i still wish that you never existed in my life. if i hadn't gone for the band camp, we wouldn't even have met. then i wouldn't have lost so much during the year& a half. many things have been taken for granted. many things just happened that made a mark in my life. but i think these just never belonged to me. you never belonged to me. much of it was just a mistake i refused to let go. i gave you my heart but you didn't treasure it, returning me a broken, tattered one. i mended it& i swear nobody but myself can ever abuse it. i'm glad you gave it all up. so much stuff i have learnt. dun give out your heart so easily. dun give your trust too early. dun be too forgiving. always reserve love for yourself, love yourself more than anyone else unless you're prepared to share it. never fence yourself from the outside world. now i understand why they always say love yourself more than anyone. so much has been taken away from me. you have to believe in karma. it'll get back to you someday.

i'm glad we bid our goodbyes as couple. hopefully, well, i know we still can be friends.

moving on, i'm looking for my opened door of happiness. i think i've ever mentioned of a quote from hellen keller,
"when a door of happiness closes, another opens, people don't see the it because they dwell on the closed door for too long missing out on the open one."
well, it's not word for word, but something like that.

end of this chapter of my life.

life can be a bitch& i believe in karma. it'll befall on you when you least expect it.

alrighty. nights.