Days of our life.

How was your day? Mine was bad. 


The only thing I could do when I fell was to get up and continue riding. No one else was there to show any concern or give me a helping hand. I really felt like lying there until someone passes by to help me up. I really felt like sitting there and crying my eyes out. But it just wasn't the right thing to do. Life has to go on. I wonder whether there is any appropriate time in life to break down because of some really small and insignificant reason.


Somehow I thought my temper improved tremendously since secondary school days. But after things that happened today, it felt as if I took 2 steps back after taking only 1 small step forward throughout these years. I don't blow up but anger is written all over my face, I can't hide anything. I hate to be known by others in this manner, it simply makes me feel small and vulnerable. I hate times like this.


Just saying..

Bruised

I fell while cycling at work and got bruised on my sheen. I think it's the worst one I've ever had. No, it's not excruciatingly painful. It's the worst one cause it never seems to heal and there's like a daily constant reminder that the bruise is still there. It's irritating the hell out of me. I'll somehow hit that exact same spot every single day and it hurts like shit, making me look like some fool while I rub my sheen. 

I kinda relate this feeling to what I felt when he called it quits. It hurt real bad when he called it quits. Then I started to heal real well when something hits me again, the cycle of pain and healing begins yet again. Like I said, no, it's not excruciating painful. But that nagging pain is pissing me off. Up till today, I don't know if I'm too bored or lonely, I tend to space out and travel back to the past and start the hate that I thought I've let go long ago. This cycle has to stop.

It's just one of those days. Just saying..

Age

Sometimes, I wonder if it's a good thing when people think I'm fooling around when I truthfully tell them my age. Of course they'll always think I'm much older.

On physical terms, i.e my face, I don't think I should be too happy about this matter. It's only a reminder of how much skincare products I need to stock up to return my "youth" when I'm still full of it.

Am I like overly mature for my age? Sometimes I hear conversation of school kids or teenagers outside, I kinda fear that my thinking is actually on par with them. I used to think I was very matured in secondary school when most of my thoughts were childish and naive. Or should I put it this way, I hope that I'm already all grown up and matured in the eyes of my family. At home, I'm constantly trying to pry the thoughts of my family. After being rebellious for years, I kinda got tired of it all and been trying to grow up for them to stop worrying about me. I wonder if I'm growing and maturing at the right pace.

I guess everyone must always look on the bright side sometimes. Although I'm constantly hoping that I'm overseas attaining my degree and enjoying my youth now, I'm still glad that I'm already out working even before I turn legal. I always tell people, I'm increasing my market rate for the future to come. Awesome thinking right? I mean, it's an undeniable fact.

For now, I'm just hoping for whatever I wished for to come true. I mean, things have been unexpectedly smooth for me these few years. No doubt there were some downtime in between, but I kinda always end up getting what I wanted to plan for. I'm not asking for more, just let my goals be reached regardless of whatever barrier that comes along.