hello!
i'm blogging out of boredem.
and also i'm in denial that term test is next week.
but at least i think i'm feeling better.
i just want to go turi beach.
i think the coming hols will be damn busy.
crapppp.

ok.
i'm becoming rebellious.
none of you all will think i'd be like that ever.
i think i'm lazy to blog much today.
TC peeps.
i want KBOX.

hello.
ipod makes me feel so much better.

i'm supposed to be doing my japanese presentation due tmr.
but i'm tired of the stupid topic.
why didn't i get to choose some easier ones.
crapppppp.

anws, my leg is half recovered i guess.
it doesn't hurt anymore.
just that it feels loose.
i can't find the word to describe the weird feeling.
so i'll just use loose to decribe it.
i think i'll need to get ankle guard if i want to go tkd.
i'm quite enjoying tkd now.
i really can't judge people by their first impression.
somehow it's difficult to cope studies and tkd at the same time.
crapppp.
i'll learn somehow.

this term test is screwed for me.
i've yet to start studying.
ivy was asking me where my determination went.
i seriously don't know.
maybe i've got no determination all the while.
determination.
where are you?
i'm craving for you now.

i hope i can go out tmr to destress.
celebrate les's birhtday.
come to think of it,
it's been a long time since i've gone out with my pig.
i'm planning to go some beach resort in batam.
hopefully i can make it there.

shall go off now.
TC peeps.
it's been long since i've said that.
i'll take care of myself.
so dun worry peeps.
I LOVE YOU ALL!

pain.
it's all that i felt the whole day.
physically& emotionally.
i'm drained out.

my leg's swollen like pig's trotters.
sprained it yesterday during training.
crap.

i've been invisible today.
totally invisible.
i don't know what the fuck is wrong.
somehow you just refuse to talk to me.
if i've done or said anything wrong,
does it kill you to tell me?
if that's how you want our friendship to be.
so be it.
i've tried,
i'll continue trying.
if it doesn't work.
i guess it's the end.

i've been emo.
i hate myself now.
when will i be normal again.
i hate to be in this world now.

hi peeps.

so much things have been happening.
someone pls tell me how to react to whatever that has been happening.
it's just small little things that i've done or say to make things the way they are.
i hate how things are now.
i never liked how things were.
it's only gotten worst recently.
i feel like breaking down.
but i realised even breaking down requires courage.
everything is welling up.
i'll be exploding very soon.

i feel stupid doing whatever i've done.
when i try to reach up to you,
you keep on going further& further away from me.
when i've decided to withdraw from our world,
leave you in your solitary state,
you come running back to me?

i'm tired.
i want to stop breathing.
i want to vanish.
if only vanishing can solve all problems.

it has been a terrible week.

i swear i'll curse my uncle till he dies alone. till he dies a terrible death. that bastard is no uncle of mine. he tore my family apart. it's because of him, my dad got jobless. dad started the family business with that bastard because he knew that fucking bastard's interest. dad gave in to him time after time when he makes unprofitable investments. dad didn't bring home much or even any pay for few years before he decided to leave the bastard. it's because of him, my family is suffering. it's because of him, my family fell apart. it's because of him, i have no more fun loving reunion dinners. it's because of him, everything fell apart. now, he's chasing my aunt out of the business. she called me this morning and told me what happened. i have no idea how to break the news to mum. i don't even want to be there when she breaks the news to my family. HE IS A FUCKING BASTARD. I SWEAR, I WILL CURSE HIM TILL HE NEVER SLEEP PROPER AT NIGHT, LET THE BUSINESS FAIL BECAUSE OF HIS FOOLISH DECISION. I SWEAR. FUCK.

hello world. celebrated my sis 21st birthday yesterday. admire her for the gifts she received. hmmm. i'll get it soon, in 3 years' time. heh. she did enjoy her time. now i know how hard it is to organise a actual party. i have another one to organise in 3 months time. still long. but it'll be here sooner then i can imagine.

sometimes i wonder why is time passing so fast. i used to think that time passes too slowly. if only i can control time. like that guy in heros. i forgot his name. it'll be good to have that type of ability.

i'll update the photos of my sis's party and any other photos that i have.

i shall go off. i have testsss coming week. i will survive thru the ordeal. heh. take care peeps!

p.s: huizi, i'm sorry. it's your choice to forgive me or ignore me. i respect it. i'm sorry.

school's getting busy right now. assignments. freaking e-learning. not very fun, although there's a lot of free time. i need to catch up on my grades. i think i'll be dragging myself to school tmr. late night again. lucky my eye bags don't drop below my chin. it's only panda eye circles. that's all.

lucky school is keeping me busy, preventing myself from going crazy thinking of things. i have no idea why it's only now when i start thinking. i seriously think i was in my own world for the past few months. but i'm sure i'll wake up to reality soon enough. i will. i have to.

alright, i'll be off to do the e-learning stuff. TC peeps! thanks for your concern too. i love you all.

somthing is back to haunt me. i'm really still stuck in time. i can't move on. i'm suffocating. i'm trying to be happier then before, ever. but it's just tiring. why had i let everything go so fast? i want to give up forgetting. please tell me i'm just having nightmares now. someone wake me up, save me from hell. fact is, i'm living a true life. i can't avoid anymore.