hey hey hey. i'm half done with Mbio prac report. still so much to be done. so much will be over after mon. wahaha. but there'll still be so much things going on. crapp. ok. i'll survive thru it.

anyways. i'm going down to sim lim soon to get sis's headphone for skype. she's going back to penang tmr. god. i'm gonna miss her. i can't imagine how i'll react when she's going to aus in july. i'll go shop around at bugis later on. hmmmm. hopefully it doesn't rain. if it rains i guess i'm jus gonna come home straight after getting the stuff.

oh yeh. everyone must congratulate d. wahahaha. jus kidding. he got into RP aerospace avionics after not doing anything for a year. so happy for him. wahahaha. he's busy pigging now. pigging. hope he doen't pig that much when school term starts lurr.

ok. i'll be gone. take care peeps. :D

hmmmm. i feel left out suddenly. after falling out with you. i still feel left out at times. hmmmm. i wonder why.

so tired of school work. so much assignments still due. so much more work to do. so little time before semester exams. it's ridiculous when my core modules are non-examinable and tests dates keep on getting pushed around so frequently. sickening. why put core modules as non-examinable and put on such high weightages. sickening. i wonder how school came up with all this. that's the problem with being the pioneer batch. crapppppp.

anyways. had yu sheng in school this thurs. apparently shermaine& fifah prepared. wahahaha. it was so much more fun compared to last yr's. i guess we captured everyone's attention in flavours. wahahaha. i'll update the photos when i'm home or somthing.

it's been long since i've updated photos. hmmm. i guess those who haven't seen me for long time haven seen my bangs. wahahaha.

ok. anyways. i shall be gone. pray that i'll survive thru this 4 weeks without breaking down or giving up. :D

hello world.

HAPPY OX YEAR! :D

i've gotten my ox bearista. wahahaha. freaking cute lurr. wahaha. an ox that looks like pig. anyways. bearista is starbuck's mini bear mascott. it has different designs depending on the events. d got me the valentines one. cute too, but i prefer the ox. wahahaha. i still love both. my bed is crampppppped up.

anyways, i've just finished CD2 assignment except for the referencing. kinda easy to complete. at least, that's what i think. sandra may want some other stuff. well, i have something to hand up, answerable.

tmr class will be having mini potluck session. forgot to get yu sheng. i doubt class will be having yu sheng this yr, we had it last yr. hmmm. i remember i went all the way to carrefour to get it.

so much things due soon. crapppppp. there will be csas test and prac post lab tmr. fri CD2 assignment due(i'm done! wahaha). Mbio lab report due, AHDis quiz on mon. entre rehearsal on tues. entre final proposal& presentation on following tues. crap. kill me. so much things. ahhhhhhhhh. it's disaster after cny. hai.

ok. i think i'm done with complaning. i'll be free in a month's time. free like a bird (provided i dun fail any modules), working like an ox. wahahah. but before i start working i think i'll be going penang with my family for a short hol, also to visit my sis there. it's been yearrrrss since we've travelled as a family. looking forward to that trip. :DD

i shall be gone alr. take care peeps. :D

hello. hmmm. somehow the font seems different on different computers.

anyways. i'm in school now. bek chek with work. test tmr i've yet to study.

fuck.

hmmm. i hate the font. i have no idea why i can't change my font. this is irritating. seriously. shit.

anyways. i'm blogging out of boredem. no one is home now except for me& grandpa. somehow as i grow up, the house becomes more& more empty. but, sis is bringing back dinner. wahahaha. i dont have to cook dinner myself. good.

nites..is that to prove me wrong? hmmmm. i think not. i need, i want more. i want, i need more. how to put it in words to you? i dun have the courage to say it infront of you. i can only say it here. i miss you loads. i want to hug you badly. but for once. i'm determined. i'm not giving in. i feel right for being pissed this time. i refuse to give in. i hate her. i hate you being with her. i only want you to be mine. not anyone else's.

ok. anyways. skipped mbio lecture this morning. went for lunch then went for 4.5 hr of CD1 lecture. we almost couldnt make it out of the lt. seriously. 3 hrs of lecture is ridiculous enough. they wanted to have 6. crap. lucky they changed it to next week normal ridiculous 3 hrs. well. it's better than 6.

i'm harping on the issue like nobody's business. it's been long since i've carried this much hatred for someone. this is sickening. fffffuck. i'm thinking about it every single min. how can i get you out of hell. i worry about you every moment you're home. she'll force you till your threshold level.

i'm thinking too much. but. i cant help it.

omg. pls. kill. me.

i tot i wouldn't have the post mortem guilt feeling. apparently. i am feeling it now. sausage mum cook looks like rabbit's liver, intestine, whatever. crap. crap. i'm sorry ah-bit for skinning you. sickening me. i named just named you ah-bit. at least you died with a name. not just tagged by number.

i miss my d. to him it's mood swing. is it? i really duno. i really seriously hate you going home now. i hate the fucking bitch you have to live with. i fear for you. i really wish i can kill her or silence her or give her some potion that can make her shut the hell up. ahhh. i hate her.

ok. anyways. i miss d because i told him out of fury that he won't expect to see me this week, so he simply didn't contact me for a day. reason he gave was that i was having mood swing, how to talk to me?

i want to keep to my word. but i can't resist the temptation of contacting him. that's why i'm so pissed with myself. i'm still pissed with d because he simply replies when he feels like it. fuck. crap. fuck. school is sickening aad troublesome. now all these stuff keeps on coming. up. i think i'll have advanced menopause soon. fuck. not as if other girls text you, you'd delay or dun even bother to reply. sometimes like what baby& darling says. maybe it's when you lose something you'll feel the need for the something. i always want to make you feel this to treasure me more. bbut somehow it simply doesn't work. crap.

there's so much things i want to do in such short time. i've finally cleaned up my room. it's just as cluttered as before. i just cleaned up some stuff& threw away the rubbish. apparently the cleaning wasn't much help in keeping pests away. yest i just saw mosquito flying around. today i saw a baby lizard somewhere near the shelf, very extremely near my bed. i can only hope it doesn't get onto or beside my bed. lucky fiona is not around. if not she'll freak out.

anyways, my com screen having mood swings. so sometimes i can see things, sometimes it's just blank. so i won't be online that often until it's fixed. i'm using my bro-in-law's mac. i'm kinda pissed because i keep on pressing some button then my cursor will just disappear somewhere when i'm still typing. so pls forgive me if some of whatever i typed seem gibberish.

i've finished prison break season 4& heroes season 3. like finally. there'll still be sequel to heroes. hmmmm. i tot it will be the end alr. now i'll just be waiting for gossip girls season 2& one tree hill season 6 to complete. but i won't be able to buy those from m'sia because i've decided not to talk or greet or even step into that house because of that bitch. but i duno how long i can last with this anger. i kinda forgive& forget easily.

yest went to tm after school to get some stuff. i returned book& got 3 books from sans. went to artbox got my cork board. got the artbox member. wahahaha. i like the card. another addition. i think it'll be useful for me. i love artbox stuff. then went to minitoons to get my sweets. heh. :D but i spent almost everything of whatever i deposited. hmmm. i've decided to deposit my allowance once i get it. i can save better this way. i guess. better than put the cash lying there& risk spending it.

i duno why this post ended up so naggy. i think it's because i haven been talking that much recently. ahhhh. crap.

p.s: pls buy moisturizer. thank you
p.p.s: pls bank in red packet money.
p.p.p.s: pls try not to have mood swing
p.p.p.p.s: pls try to win the cold war. make him give in. i dun care this time.

i'm writing this because i know you won't read it. otherwise, prove me wrong. i think i'll still end up disappointed.

ok. the end.

omg. i hate assignments. especially with me doing it so last minute.

i'm going to be depressed a few days before new year. overheard sis& mum talking about dad and his temper. crapppppppppppppppppp. because of his temper we haven't had real reunion dinner for years. my years of happiness during new year was long gone since that fucking incident happened. my dad simply closed his world& our world. fuck. this is ridiculous. i hate it.

anyways. d& his mum quarelled like nobody's business again. i just feel like killing her on the spot. seriously. i seriously think she has a mental problem. she wants to challenge her son. then she threatens to call the police because she's afraid of her son. then when she don't call the police, she'll call everyone else to tell everyone about the embarassing stuffs that are supposed to be kept at home. she needs to tell her story, show it on some bilboard, tell everyone who can see it. until everyone pity her, she gets satisfied, everything goes back to normal. when she's happy, she gives allowance, when she's upset, she leaves him to feed off grass. i've never met someone this stuborn. never. i really wish i can earn enough money, d can earn enough money to move out of this shit. i seriously wanted, had the urge to pack his stuff& force him to leave hell. no, the place is not hell. it's just the person there making things difficult. she never really took care of him when he was young, now that he's old, she wants so much control. i hate her. i wouldn't hate her so much if she doesn't include me in quarrels every single time. this is terrible. first time since after primary school, i have the urge of killing someone so badly. i know i'll get karma. but i'm doing it willingly. i wonder what will happen to d that night if i wasn't there. thruout this year plus, everytime he quarrels, everything gets from bad to worst. i wonder what will happen the next time. i hope he'll sue his mum when he's old for the sufferings. FYI, it's legit to sue your mum for not upbringing you properly. just because it's your hse, it's your electric, you'll have your right of way. fucking shit.

i've got my own family issues to deal with, you have to add it you.

ok. i'll go look for d alr.

hey hey hey.

retests are finally over. but i've got no confidence on whether i can pass CD1. i passed AHDis. oh well. hopefully i can pass lurr. my hope of getting Bs is still there.

next week will be busy with assignment& CD2 quiz. then it'll be CNY.

ok. i have to explain myself. i get moodswings these few days due to the retests& tests. to add on to those, i've got a freaking huge ulcer. so i seriously don't feel like talking or smiling. it seriously hurts like nobody's business. i'm trying to heal it (miraculously) before CNY. at least i can get to enjoy those heaty new yr goodies. wahahahaha. i can't wait. sinful though.

after new year will be time for studies alr. we'll have early hols. wahhah. most of our papers are during the study week. so we're guessing that we'll finish during that week.

after semester exams should be heading down to penang to look for my sis. hopefully we can take coach there to save money. whaha. i like those coach rides to m'sia. then hopefully after that i can go down to KL for some shopping spree. :D

after the trip will be working till school starts i guess. unless d initiates or don't mind a trip somewhere. :D

ok. i'm missing out V day this yr. hmmmm.

ok. i shall be gone. TC peeps.

p.s: pls pray i'll pass my BTT tmr. then i'll sign for practical lessons immediately. but i have a feeling dad won't want me to take at ubi. oh well. we'll see how.

hello.

i'm sleeping in class later on.

sickening desktop is going nuts. hung on me many many times.

CD1 quiz tmr. i've yet to study

CD1 retest on thurs. i've yet to finish studying.

i only want to sleep.

random.

k. bye.

hi guys. i've been rotting for today. i'm waiting for my notes to be printed, waiting for the terminal at 7, waiting to have the mood to start studying CD1 quiz& retest this wed, waiting for d to come back from cruise. actually, he comes back tmr. but i dun know what time. hopefully he'll have time for movies next week. he's schedule is full while mine is empty. i can't work, i dun feel like working.

i feel like just studying for CD1 quiz. the retest is on the same day. ridiculous. hai. school is screwed up. i've yet to tell mum about the parents meeting thing. i tot these stuff dun exist in poly. oh well, i'm wrong, apparently it does. shit.

CNY is so close. i dun really have the mood for it. except for the reunion at granny's part. i'm forcefully inviting d to go. haha.

ok. i've finally gotten rid of my irritating hair style. i have bangs. haha. i doubt baby& darling saw me having bangs before.

i think i'll go back to rot. :D

new moon. (sequel to twilight) wahahaha. good thing they changed jacob to somebody much better looking, not so red indian. hahaha. ok. i'm being racist. but, jacob has a huge role there so i don't wish to spend my time seeing some red indian falling in love with bella. heh heh. :D

i'm procrastinating. so fast. lazy to finish studying AHDis tonight. i'm going off to bed after this.

wanted to cut hair during the 5 hr break earlier on. but due to complications, i decided to head home to sleep. woke up, did some cds research, headed back to school for cds till 6. came home, slacked and went down to have my hep B jab. hopefully it won't turn out to be as painful& sore as the tetanus. if it does, i'll be procrastinating for the 2 other booster jab. waited almost 45 minutes. came home, ate, slacked, surfed, surfing. heh.

tmr's a long day. lecture (2hrs), lecture (ridiculously 3hrs long) then work till 9++. thurs should be bad. my AHDis retest& 3 hr useless CSAS lesson.

on the lighter note, hopefully i can get to watch marley& me after the test. i shall propose a movie date to d tmr during work. heh. he kinda promised to bring me out for movie after sulking for an hour on sunday. wahahaha. sulking works, but of course, i can't use it too much or the adverse effects will happen. heh.

sis will be going to penang on sunday. omg. imagine, i'll be bored at home. who can help me get my new year clothes. crap. but she'll be back for CNY. then back to penang again. but then, on a lighter note, d can come over without worries of having no bed. heh. ok. evil of me. i'll miss her seriously. she's kinda like the only one whom i can talk to at home. sad. imagine when she's gone to aussie. crap. i'll be autistic, busy with work no longer studying. (hopefully)

i think i've decided. i'll work immediately after graduating. earning enough money, i shall take vet tech degree. of course, graduation trip with s baby& i darling to taiwan will come first. wahahaha. while working, i'll take grooming course, investment for more returns. haha. it shall be like this. unless a windfall comes along then i shall take off to somewhere to take degree. :D

okok. i shall go off to bed. take care peeps!

hi! i'm hardworking. but for how long i wonder.

d's coming over tonight again. wahahaha. for a marker.

i'm looking forward to school now i guess.

i've yet to tell mummy about whatever's happened last sem. i'm thinking of methods of confession. any suggestions?

i really want to get the A for this sem. i think this sem is really all about studies lurr. i'm not tempted to do other stuffs. ok. to be exact, to lan. good improvement. :D wahaha.

i've been p.s-ed by sylvia baby. i'm stressed. wahaha. i'm sorry i can't really make time out for you now. i promise i'll give you my time when i'm free. though i'm still shocked over your decision, i'm glad that you made it. you're finally free. i'm sorry i kinda judged you when you gotta know your new friend. i think i'm jealous. seriously, dun laugh. i get jealous easily. we'll go out enjoy ourselves before ivy darling abandons us for almost a month. we shall go for waxing session. lol. kidding. but it can be serious if you want to. :D i'm sorry i don't say much to you when i'm infront of you. i don't really know how to put things to words. i'm sure you'll see this& loveee me more. :D mwacks.

dearest ivy darling, i lovee you as much ok. don't get jealous! wahaha. i'll write you another love letter before you abandon us kk.

till then, i shall be off to complete my m.bio tut.

oh yah. i'll be spring cleaning this sat if i'm not working. got inspiration from ivy to donate the old soft toys to salvation army or orphanage after washing the dust off. good deed. :D

ok. my printer is freaking slow. but, better then the last freaking loud, noisy printer. printing my notes for tmr. decided to save some $$. tmr's quite a long but relaxed day i guess. only 2 lesson. but, each lasts for at least 3 hours. crap. i shall not complain.

oh yah. went over to m'sia on sat. short trip cause there's nth much to buy there this time round. i got prison break& heroes latest season pirated discs. heh. stayed at d's place on fri& sat. we watched 2& a half movies on sat night. watched heroes season 3 on sun. left with 2 discs, then it shall be prison break. but i think i'll need to put prison break on hold for my studies lurr. i must curb my temptations.

anyways, i'm just posting to waste some time. i shall complete tmr's tutorial& do up my schedule book when i'm done printing.

alrights. till then, take care peeps!

i love my boyfriend! :D thank you for being patient with me now. i love you now more than ever. wahahaha.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

oh my god! 2008 went by just like that. just like the wind. hmmmm. will 2009 be the same? i wonder. anyways. i'm already in big trouble at the beginning of the year. due to me failing 4 main subjects, the course manager wants to meet my parent. i'm so dead. seriously. i freaking panicked when jomer told me that lah. i hope he can relay my message to course manager so the meeting session is not neccesary anymore. i'm seriously going to be good from now on. i can't let my grades drop anymore. term test results is scary enough, i won't want to repeat modules. i still want to have a great attachment later on in year 3.

anyways, tioman trip i think more or less is cancelled as dear decided he needs to commit to work& lots of other stuff. CRAP! kinda expected this. just that i don't know how to tell jin& bird now. hai.

i'll be busy from next week with school and work. i'll need to find out how to handle with both. it's really difficult to work& study at the same time. tiring. i can't really quit my job cause i need the money. not for spending, but for paying my sis money i owed her since god knows when. though she doesn't say, i know that it's something that i need to do before her wedding.

so, god bless me for my coming days. :D happy new year yeh.

i just realised i didn't make any resolutions for 2009.

1. attend all lectures
2. get at least an A in any subject
3. be a better friend to everyone
4. be a better daughter mummy& daddy
5. be a better gf to dear
6. room makeover
7. be more savvy in everyway
8. watch more movies
9. mean what i say
10. make use of my organiser
11. be a coffee master
12. land into my dream attachment
13. contiki tour to US or EUROPE
14. wildlife volunteer in south africa (alternative to pt. 13)

alright. i think that's the more impt ones. esp the 1st point. ATTEND LECTURES! :D