Second.

have you ever felt like being a replacement for something, being a replacement for something twice?

the first time happened when me and marc went for cedele interview. obviously, he got it. a week or 2 later when he decided to quit for something else, the manager called me immediately after marc called him. i almost cried when he called me. it's like, i can't be compared to him, i'm never the first choice, people only want me because they got rejected by their first choice. i couldn't even feel good with him, the worst was he used this to criticize me when we quarelled some time later.

the second time, well, it's the attachment thing.

i wonder why i'm always the replacement.

this feeling sucks. FFFFFFFF.

i'm so tired of looking forward to things because things just fall apart on it's own.

so un-motivated again.